The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/08/06
A gripping piece of writing, although I am confused. He is welcoming her to Oregon, so why are they: "loading his Pullman into the hatchback" as if he is the one traveling? This must be part of a larger story, which would better explain some of the other questionable areas. Your writing does give a beautiful expression of being on the receiving end of understanding and forgiving love.
05/09/06
There seems to be a good story here, but I'm a bit confused. If they are not married, and trying to follow Jesus, why are they heading to sleep, presumably together? But the message of unconditional love is there.