The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/09/06
You are certainly a storyteller! I did have to go back trying to sort out who was speaking, and I wasn't sure if some of your picturesque language was to be taken literally ("burn") or figuratively. Is this part of a bigger story? (Having more to go on might make it easier reading.) Consider the work of the re-write---not an easy task, but it would make this interesting story more reader-friendly.