“You’re not smart enough for this. Besides, you’re too young. Look at you! You fat pig!”
She awoke in the night with the accusations still buzzing in her head, angry wasps bent on delivering as many injurious stings as possible. “Stop it, go away.” They didn’t, of course.
Unable to sleep and reluctant to awaken her husband, she got up quietly. “What am I supposed to do?” she thought. “I can’t keep going on like this.” The accusations started again.
“See, you can’t even think of anything to do. What good are you? You’re not good enough to deserve anything anyway.”
“Lord, I need help. Where are you?” she pleaded in her mind.
“He’s not going to answer you. You don’t pray hard enough for him to hear you. You yelled at the kids for no reason, said no to that church job. I saw you look at the neighbor’s husband that way the other day. Think he didn’t notice that? He says he doesn’t hear sinners like you.” Another barrage subsided.
She sank into the couch, hugging a pillow, rocking back and forth. Tears refused to come.
“Crying won’t get you out of this one.” Another volley started. She buried her face in the pillow until silence returned. She raised her face toward the ceiling. “You left out one other thing to say about me. I am a child of the King. He loves me in spite of all that. I am His. Leave me alone.”
Peace flooded the place where the battle had raged. She hugged the pillow once more. “Thank you. I should’ve ask for help before, but I thought I could handle him this time. Should’ve known better. I’m so glad You’re not like he says.”
She put the pillow down, quietly returned to bed.
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