Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Inner Strength (04/20/06)
By Connie Husby
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As the smell of fresh brewed coffee drew my senses inward, a tear gently trickled down my cheek as I took the first sip. I sat on our small but quaint redwood deck of our cabin, and felt numb from what had just happened a few weeks earlier. Focusing on how still the lake was, and listening to the loons call out to each other, calmed my anxious and wounded spirit.
Soon I was dressed, grabbed my hat and life jacket and took the canoe out, as it seemed to beckon me from the deck. Within minutes I was paddling, pausing, paddling, pausing and just allowed myself to drift and soak up God’s beauty. The perfect sky-blue color of the heavens radiated as the brilliant circle of sunlight arose in the vastness of space. I felt like the earth was standing still as the silence of the morning was almost deafening. As the morning progressed I could hear the sound of children squealing and fishing motors revving up in anticipation and high hopes of catching “the big one”.
Our faded yellow cabin was in clear view now as I approached shore. I pulled the canoe up on the sandy beach, not far off from the neighbor’s bunkhouse. The tantalizing aroma of bacon sizzling on the grill next door filled the air, as I clomped onto our deck and threw off my life-jacket. I waved to Dave and Anne and said good morning, and opened the screen door and aimed right for the refrigerator.
After eating some sliced strawberries, it was time to drag out the laptop and start writing my feelings down. Where would I begin? Tears streaming down my face, uncontrollably shaken with the thought of knowing I’d never see my father again. He died so suddenly, how could this happen, I didn’t say goodbye, how dare God take him away from our family. I started typing how I felt and yet was so consumed by grief I could hardly contain myself. Drenched keys and obviously a spirit within me broken beyond what I thought would be repairable. Yet, somehow I drew peace deep in my heart after sobbing for what seemed like a very long time.
Our Father in heaven, ever so gently placed that inner-strength I desperately needed to comfort me in my time of sorrow and grief. I just couldn’t imagine living without my dad whose humor, wit and never ending love I depended on was abruptly taken away. This can’t be I thought, it is just some horrible dream, but the truth is, he was gone. I needed to accept this and realize according to scripture dad was in heaven now breathing that pure heavenly air, walking and talking with Jesus.
That evening as the rip-roaring campfires began to crackle on both sides of our cabin I sat with the windows open and my bible on my lap, reading scripture here and there, I just felt numb. Feeling hurt and wounded I knew it would take time to heal, and at that point I just wanted to cry as I reflected on memories, good memories God had blessed me with.
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