The Official Writing Challenge
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This is good writing. Nice little hooks along the way keep the reader's eyes on the page! Good insights, too. Thanks for an "inside" glimpse of the big fisherman!
You're a bit short on comments, aren't you? Let me see what I can do.
Liked the beginning - really powerful start. Likewise I thought the ending was good, too. Also liked the idea of the story. What I wasn't quite so keen on was some of the dialogue. At times it seemed a bit forced - more like a lecture from Peter than a conversation between brother and sister. I'd like to have been taken a bit more into her feelings - for instance, did she think Peter was losing his mind when he started talking about the resurrection. Having said all that, I think all in all you've done a pretty nice job with this piece, and it has good potential.
Excellent and very creative. I liked the perspective of a sister.
WOuld also like to know what happened to Peter - you've left us imagining he may have dies of natural causes, which Christian tradition is pretty much unanimous against. Wonder if she'd have expressed her feelings at his death differently if he'd just been crucified upside down?
I liked the viewpoint you wrote from for a familiar story. I agree with the conversation needing to be a bit more natural...but maybe Peter was a bit "preachy" in his speech. Who knows?
I really enjoyed the unique perspective of a character who "might have been." It may be a bit dialog-heavy...some more description might help us to get to know your character better. Fabulous writing skills.
I really liked the creative way you chose to give us a glimpse into Peter's life. It's very difficult to write about such a major person in Christianity because of the differing theologies that your audience may hold. You have done a very good job.