The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/29/06
Interesting and intriguing story. Needs some punctuation, comma's etc. and some editing, but is very creative. You might re-word the fight, as she was already on the ground, when it says she was knocked to the ground..but all in all- I was intrigued to the very end.
04/29/06
Yes, very engaging piece of writing. Congratulations.
Very creative! I enjoyed reading this.
I really enjoy a good action story. I thought this was very well done and most creative. Keep up the good work!
05/01/06
Creative and interesting, like the action. Great entry!
What a creative imagination. It keeps you to the end.
Great story with nice pacing and good clear ending. I realy enjoyed reading it.
05/01/06
Wonderful story! A kind of David and Goliath - God gives the victory! Well done.
05/03/06
This is a wonderful story. Very creative. This is the second of your fantasy stories that I have read and thoroughly have enjoyed both.
05/04/06
Caitlynn (I was wondering who the author was), I rated this one very high and am disappointed that it didn't place. Fantasy/SCI-FI is very difficult to do well in 750 words. This was a good example of Christian Fantasy. Well Done!
I love this kind of story. You did a good job creating your character and the scenario. You made me care about Catherine.

A couple of tips. Do not use the topic word in your story if you can avoid it. Every time I read "inner-strength" (3 times)I was jarred out of the story and remembered this is a challenge entry.

At the end of the fifth paragraph you ended a sentence with a preposition (a no-no). You didn't need the word "from" at all.

With an entry like this, I predict you won't be in beginners long. Well done! :)