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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fulfillment (04/06/06)

TITLE: Heaven's Rain
By Caitlynn Lowe
04/06/06


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Joy stood outside with her hair down and her face turned towards the sky. It was raining; usually she hated to be out in the rain, but sometimes...well...sometimes it was nice.

The first thing she noticed about the rain today was the feel of it against her skin. It was surprisingly cool and refreshing. It poured down gently, soothing away her every stiffness and cleansing her of every pain. Not only was it pleasing to the touch of her skin, it was also satisfying to her spirit. This was that special kind of rain, the kind that one stands in and is convinced that it must be pouring straight down from Heaven itself; a Divine gift of mercy and peace from God. And just as the rain touched her skin, it also touched her soul.

The next thing Joy noticed about the rain was how it looked. Tiny little droplets of liquid diamond, each playfully reflecting a glimpse of Heaven’s glory before--splat!--it struck the surface of her skin and the vision faded away, leaving her poised and anxious for the next. Each raindrop contained another secret, another beauty, each more exciting than the last. She could hardly tell exactly what each secret was, yet the brief wonders she saw in each little drop before they were lost were beautiful nonetheless. Yet she was not sad when those glimpses of Heaven vanished from her, only more excited to one day see the real thing.

The smell of the rain was just as intoxicating. It did not smell as pollution or mud, it didn’t even smell as one would imagine any rain would. In fact, Joy could not quite place the smell at all. It was more delightful than the smell of any spring flower or any apple pie, unlike any earthly smell available in everyday life. Somehow, though, it was strangely familiar, almost like the smell of home after you’ve been gone for a long time. It smelled fresh and clear, and she knew in that moment that she’d never smell anything so wonderful the rest of her earthly life.

Joy licked her lips as a few of the raindrops fell in her mouth. She was astonished to realize that the rain even tasted magnificent! It was sweet and refreshing, and tasted almost like sugared water, only...sweeter. It tasted more like drinking light than anything else. And as she continued to taste and drink of it, her spirit was renewed.

Even the sound of the rain was lovely. She could hear it in the distance and all around her, dancing on the rooftops of the nearby houses and on the leaves of the different trees. It sounded like music as each drop fell in just the right way to produce the next perfect note. It was a joyful tune, upbeat and lively yet relaxing and peaceful all at once. It was not like the standard music one would listen to on a daily basis. This music was deeper, appealing more to the soul than to the usual sense of hearing. Yet even so, it was a beautiful noise that anyone could enjoy if only they would stop to listen.

Usually Joy hated to be out in the rain, but sometimes it was nice. This was one of those times. This was no ordinary rain; this was a shower of love and strength from God. And as Joy stood still and let it surround her, she knew she could never be more fulfilled.


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This article has been read 836 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Ruth Neilson04/13/06
Oh, I love this story! I understand Joy's mentality completely.

However, I'm not to sure about the repetition of the beginning and the ending of the peice. But that's my opinion.
Virginia Gorg04/14/06
This is so nice - it's a refreshing look at the rain and how something so seemingly simple can fulfill a person's longing. Nicely done and well versed.
Edy T Johnson 04/17/06
"...wonders she saw in each little drop before they were lost...." should read "before IT WAS lost" to match singular "each...drop." Other than that miniscule slip, this is absolutely perfect writing! You have beautifully expressed the rain using all the senses. I love it! I will have to add you to my 'favorites!'
Carla Feagans04/19/06
This is a wonderful story about the magnificence of God's wonders all around us. You did a great job of describing each of the five senses too. I found it a little hard to keep my interest, but it did make me want to read it too with the way it was written (does that make any sense??). I didn't think you needed the repetition at the end, but I did like your final thought.
Jan Ackerson 04/19/06
I liked the repetition at the end! A suitable frame for this piece.

This story is beautifully written! Your wordsmithing is artful. The story lacks conflict, however--one of the essential elements to keep your reader "hooked."

I found this a lovely word picture. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Pat Guy 04/19/06
Beatiful useage of words! You crafted the essence of each delight.

Maybe you could 'show' us something to set up the introduction of each sense instead of telling what's coming.

I too liked the repetition at the end. But I would have used the exact words you used in the beginning. I liked them. Good opening.
Stephanie Eckenroad04/19/06
I liked how you used rain in comparison to God's love. It makes understanding God seem a little more possible.