The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/13/06
Good start on this story. Keep writing. For more interest, maybe narrow the focus. Show me a couple of steps toward fulfillment.
04/16/06
I enjoyed the way you voiced this message - with joy. Well done!
04/17/06
A nice common sense type story of discipline, priorities etc...but needs something to keep the Readers interest; it becomes bogged down and could lose the Reader midway through. Without that certain "something" that first lures them in, then keeps them, you could lose your Reader. Keep up the good work!