The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/06
I like what you've done with the narrator's voice. It really begins to paint a picture of this most interesting character. You leave me wanting to know more of the story. "To be continued," I hope!
03/14/06
Are you sure you're a beginner? Just the right amount of rabbit chasing for my tastes. Agree a sequel needs to appear someday soon.
I wanted more on this story? I am not sure what will happen next. Please consider a part two.

I felt that It stopped way to soon. I guess your words were used up, but we need more on this.

Yellow pages Part 2 ok, thanks lol
03/15/06
Good job creating this character and building suspense--and avoiding a "pat" ending. Lots of great stuff here. Two small suggestions: Put Scripture references at the end, where they will not interrupt the flow, and take a look at "Preview" before you hit "Submit." That way you can take care of formatting issues that make this story fill the page in an odd way. I really like this story.
Thanks for all of your comments! This is the first time I've entered an essay.
Yes, I do intend to write a
'sequel'. The 750 wordcount
was quite limiting for me!
I'm eagerly waiting for the
next 'word of the week'!
God Bless!
03/17/06
I liked these lines!
"What could a
parakeet do, that was so bad? Well, I guess he might have messed up somebody's newspaper, but I didnt' think
they even had newspapers in Noah's day."

I, too, wonder what will happen next. Interesting style!