Of course, the door is locked. It is always locked. He’s a paranoid, must always lock the doors, kind of freak. Ok, so this is a huge city experiencing a recent break out of gang shootings all over the place. However, the only time someone not in the gangs got hurt was when hit stray bullets. Not likely that locking our doors is going to keep out stray bullets. Still, he feels more protected from those gang members with the doors locked. I love him anyway. Unfortunately, loving him doesn’t solve my current problem. That door is locked. He’s not home to unlock it. I am on the wrong side of the door from my keys. What am I going to do?
Oh! Over there! I see an open window off the porch. (I know instantly that open window is my fault and if my husband ever saw it, I’d be in for one huge lecture and an argument.) Now, what is under that window? Can’t climb into an open window with a shelf full of plants under it, now can I? Oh good. That is the window over the bench. Which explains the open window. The cats and I like to sit there with the window open and read or write. DARN! That also means it has a good strong screen on the window, to keep the cats in. I hate seeing all those dead cats by the side of the road. I do not want my kitties to be among their numbers. Being in a major city, there are not many streets that would be relatively safe to have pets wandering around. Not mentioning, of course, the pet poisonings that happened last year, or the razors placed blade up, just above the ground that some little girl got all cut up on. They arrested those disturbed individuals, but I don’t like taking chances with my pets. Ok, I know that makes me my own version of paranoid freak, but oh well.
No luck! That screen is not going to come off. I wonder if…
Worse luck! Lord, this is not good, is it?
“Hello, officer. How are you today?”
“Yes, I live here. I’m just locked out.”
“No, I my ID does not reflect that yet. We just moved in last week and have been a bit busy finding the silverware and personal items in between work hours to take care of changing our address on all our ID and we get a month’s grace on that I thought.”
“No, my husband is out of town with work. He cannot come and verify my story or let me in.”
“No, I am supposed to give the extra set of keys to his mother tomorrow night at dinner because I’m horrible at locking myself out of the house.”
“My mother-in-law? She would be mid-transit right now. She keeps her cell phone off while driving. Our whole family believes cell phone driving is much like drunk driving. And no, there is no one else home that I know of who knows me. Most everyone is at work or on the way home from work.”
“No, I have no way in and no way to prove that I live here. No, I don’t know any of my neighbors yet. This is a new subdivision and most people are still too busy unpacking to meet each other just yet. Besides that, this is a big city and most people don’t talk to anyone they don’t know anyways. I mean, we barely got to recognize our previous neighbors and we lived there for ten years!”
“There’s been a string of burglaries in the area? And, I have been reported as snooping around the place? PEOPLE THINK I’M A THEIF?!”
“Yes, I’m upset. I’m ONLY locked out. I don’t STEAL! Of course, I’m snooping around; you heard my situation. I was ONLY trying to get into my OWN home!”
“Yes, officer, I will come quietly with you until my mother-in-law comes home to verify who I am.”
“Yes, I will then call a locksmith to get me into my home.”
“Yes, once I’m in, I’ll get that spare set of keys and get them to my mother-in-law’s house immediately. Thank you.”
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