The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/14/06
I was confused at times by the shifting point of view, but was relieved that Judy finally found the key! Keep writing; you have good ideas.
03/15/06
You command a great vocabulary. I'd simplify it a bit. Your readers might not be quite as adept as you are. I'd also shorten sentences (beginning with the first one which is 4 lines long.) These are just suggestions in style. I like the message... once we got there. James is, of course, my favorite book. : - )
03/16/06
I found this a bit difficult to read - seemed confusing to me, but I like the KMS principle.
I understood the passage from James that was quoted, but I agree with the rest of the comments, this piece confused me and I didn't understand much else (besides the verses that were quoted).