The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/14/06
I like this! Very tender and sweet.
03/16/06
Very nice. I would have liked some dialogue - possible expansion here :)
03/16/06
I enjoyed it! I really like the description of the boy with the cornfield yellow hair!

Good job!
03/16/06
I liked how you described the sky and the feelings your character felt while looking up. I too have felt an amazing sense of God's presence in the clouds and it is awesome. Your story reminded me of a particular day. I also liked how the character knew deep down that Christianity was different than all the other religions that she had tried. I do think that God has made it that when we are told of his Son, we know; and then they choice is up to us. Great going.
Very well done!
Were you in foster care or do you know someone who was in foster care? Parts of your story didn't ring true to me. Perhaps you were trying to describe too much and couldn't quite do it because of the word limitation.
I did enjoy reading this story however.
I love the discription in this. Good job!