The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A very sweet story, and full of hope. A few edits for sentence structure will give it a smoother flow. Wonderful title--practically a whole lesson just in those few words!
A strong, realistic message!

But keep in mind that readers veiwing a flat computer screen will be less likely to scan the whole looking for meat and missing the treasures if the long paragraphs are squished together.

Good messsage in this. Would read easier if spaced out more and grammar errors corrected. Instead of saying 'she got a Savior...' try 'she has ...' or 'she found her Savior' :)
I found this story to be a bit difficult to follow at time, but nonetheless you did a great job of letting us really get to know your main character.