The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 785 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/06
You have conveyed Lydia's despair very effectively. It appears that she was able to "break free" purely on her own power--I was thinking that she'd call on God to free her.

Very good title.
I agree with the first comment abut Lydia. However, more clarity on the voices would be help. That clarity would make this astronger piece. A good job on Lydia's character. Keep writing for Jesus!
I agree with the previous comments. The reader isn't sure where Lydia stands spritualy. It's clear that Lydia is tired of not standing up for herself. I was wondering if the voice in her head was her own insecurities or whether it was suppose to be like the devil talking to her.
03/14/06
I like Lydia's character enough to want to see more of a conflict by example. Maybe 'showing' a conflict with her parents regarding school choices instead of just saying what it is, or maybe a stubborness within her to keep her under her parent's 'directives'. Lydia might even be kinda fun to bring back and develop in other prompts...

Good writing!
03/14/06
This is a fine example of how, 'self talk matters' in life. I feel abuse and control in this piece. Abusive parents say things like, 'you'll never amount to much.' Rising above that voice in your head is a huge stepping stone to greater things in life. It allows you to open yourself up to the knowledge that you are a child of God. Well done!
03/16/06
I agree with comments re: needing Jesus in this. However, that could be chapter two .. when she realizes Who helped her overcome. :) Nicely done overall
Nice job portraying the struggle!