The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 698 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/06
Your last paragraph is particularly poignant and lovely. Watch out for some grammar problems, which can detract from the essential beauty of your piece. Nice job.
I found the piece hard to follow at times. I did get the idea that fear will keep us from the blessings that God has for us and with Jesus we dont have to be afraid. Keep practicing your writing, the more you write the easier it will become (or at least that's what I've been told).
03/13/06
This story really makes one think. It can be sad to look back and think of things that we might have done differently or the things that could have been, if only . . . Thanks for writing this.
03/14/06
I really like this, but was thinking that maybe it would read stronger if you would follow the second paragraph sticking with 'I' and 'me' instead of plurals.

Yeah, the last paragraph pulls it together. Good work!
03/14/06
I really liked your intro sentence and agree that it would have been better to stick with first person perspective. I can relate to what you're saying. It serves as a great reminder to us that we should rely more on our faith to overcome our fears. I would like to see this idea expanded into a full story.
Beautiful. I totally agree. I found this sentence, "A door never open may be or not lock but without an attend we will never know. " was worded a little off. MAke sure you read through your story a few times before submiting it to decrease errors. (But if you're anything like me, the errors will still happen.) This is a great devotional. Awesome job!