The Official Writing Challenge
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Awesome story. Praise be to God!
03/09/06
Nicely written, except for some grammar and punctuation errors ('your' vs 'you're'). Kept my attention and had me praying for the outcome God provided.
03/12/06
Your title attracted my attention, and I thought the story was going to be in the style of Wally McDoogle. The drama of the oncoming stroke (which is what it was, wasn't it?) kept me reading to the end.
You chose some excellent sentences to describe your increasing panic: "It felt like an eternity while an unknown attacker slowly spread taking my arm as its next victim."; "As unrealistic as it seemed, I prayed I could make it to the car, as I struggled to the doors."; "One door said Enter, the other Exit. I knew then that I couldn’t do it." At that point, were you starting to not understand the meaning of words? Clarify that a little, since not everyone would know the warning signs of a stroke. At some point, the doctors should pronounce a diagnosis of what happened so the reader knows for certain.
I'm not sure if the entire last paragraph is needed; maybe just the first sentence of that paragraph.
I had another favorite sentence besides the ones already quoted: "The arthritis I had complained about for years had vanished. How many times had I prayed for that pain to leave my aching body?"
You are a great writer, helping us to 'feel' the onset of your ordeal and pointing us to the greatness of our God. Thank you!
04/12/06
How terrifying! You've tied in 'enter' well with the theme, but I'm so happy to know that you were able to 'exit' BOTH times too! The way you linked the blue light special at the beginning with the hospital experience was well done.

Thank God for bringing you through that awful time.

Good writing.
05/29/06
This is dynamite writing! Real life, emotionally engaging, technically perfect. This could be expanded into a feature article in any women's magazine, I would think. God bless you!
10/02/06
A Blue Light Special indeed! A great story, and told in such an interesting way that it wasn't like the "Ho Hum" you feel when listening to a boring commentary of somebody's aches and pains. It was deliciously delightful...if that makes sense; and kept my interest throughout, moving me to tears. Loved it!...and praise God that He does answer Knee-Mail!
01/14/08
Valora, thank you for sharing your memories with me. Sounds like a very scary ordeal.
Laury