The Official Writing Challenge
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Good writing.
03/12/06
There is hope and a good message in these words. Some reworking would make this excellent. Your beginning stanza sets up a rhythm and rhyme scheme that doesn't follow through all the way. Perhaps, as someone once advised me, reading each stanza out loud would help you.Nevertheless, there were some phrasings that tugged at me: "How can I not serve him? When his love
Burns within me in purity and holiness"; "Where darkness and shadows wait
Where the soul yearns without sleep
My spirit shut in darkness so deep." Keep writing and experimenting with poetry. You have a voice the Lord wants to loose and His message to give. Thanks!