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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Enter (02/27/06)

TITLE: Enter Me, Oh God!
By Purity Snowe
03/02/06


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Her knees bent, pressed into the mottled carpet.
Hands clenched, knuckles white.
She wept at the bedside where she’d surrendered her dignity far too cheaply.
Cheeks stained with painted tears, real weeping from false eyes.
Her heart broken and self destructive.
It wasn’t worth it.
She felt lonelier than ever.

Enter me, oh God … forgiver.
Enter me and give me peace.
Enter me, oh gentle Savior.
Lift me to your breast, wrapped in eternal arms.
Enter me and still my grief.


Track marks running up his arms, his neck, his legs.
Shoot it up, shoot it up.
Who cares?
He lived to score and scored to live,
until he woke in a pool of vomit next to a dead friend.
They’d shared a needle.
Suddenly life didn’t seem so carefree anymore.

Enter me, oh God … redeemer.
Enter me and make me whole.
Enter me, oh healing Savior.
Lift me to your breast, wrapped in eternal arms.
Enter me and cleanse my soul.


Her bruises throbbed, black, purple and green.
Slapped across her back and buttocks
in the shape of her father’s rubber-soled shoes …
and his cigarettes.
Tiny red blossoms about her ribs and breasts.
She could still smell the stench of her own flesh as it burned.
Before she passed out.

Enter me, oh God … deliverer.
Enter me and grant me care.
Enter me, oh sheltering Savior.
Lift me to your breast, wrapped in eternal arms.
Enter me and calm my fear.



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This article has been read 746 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 03/06/06
Powerful piece. I might have wished for some resolution at the end, a hint that she knew that what she prayed had happened. Great work.
Theresa Kissinger03/09/06
I will have to use the word 'powerful' also...this is exactly how the precious Holy Spirit will draw us and comfort us at the same time. Reminds me of the Psalm and how God reaches into the pit. (Psalm 40:2) The poetic, musical chorus was so anointed.
Jan Ackerson 03/10/06
Forgiver...Redeemer...Deliverer....your parallel structure in this entire piece is skillfully done. Top notch writing!
Jessica Schmit03/10/06
Purity,

I guessed this was yours!

As always, beautiful writing. I see a definate improvement in your stories over the past few weeks. You have an enormous amount of talent and I pray you'll keep plugging after God so He can use it to glorify Him. I really don't know what else to say. I thought it was fabulous!
Jessica Schmit03/13/06
Purity!


WOW GIRL! I'm so proud of you! Smile big! You deserve this win.
janet rubin03/13/06
Congrats Purity! I'm not the least bit surprized. Good stuff.
Kate Wells03/14/06
Excellent... you caused us to stand in the depths of human degradation and pointed to the only way out.
Crying out to God with the words "Enter me", was very soothing to my spirit. Awesome! Kate~
Andre Kingston03/14/06
I loved this piece too. It was well done. It brought home the despair of these three souls. I love their prayers as well, so heart wrenching.

I think only one thing could have made this poem even more powerful - I, II, and III. I found the character switching in the third paragraph threw me off. I had to skip ahead to make sure it was actually done on purpose.

On the upside, the rest of your structure supported your writing perfectly.

Tahnk you.