The Official Writing Challenge
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03/06/06
This is nicely done, entertaining, with a little suspense, and lots of message cleverly presented. Watch out for commas in cases like thisóbefore and after: "What's your last name, Bob," asked Gabriel. And, unless you meant that Gabriel answered the door while putting on his wings, you want a word like "sporting a set of wings". Good job.
03/07/06
Fun story. Very clever.
I didn't like Gabriel being sarcastic - it's not an Angelic trait (it's one of mine and I'm not an angel.)
Well donee. Good job.
03/09/06
I like the use of the number of times he was offered salvation and refused. But I don't believe Gabriel (like earlier comment) is sarcastic, but truly would be saddened by lost souls. Nicely done and held my interest throughout.
03/10/06
I liked it. It was very well written and it kept my attention. it was a good story with a message.
03/12/06
I was confused at the beginning regarding the need for keys. However, the only key needed to get into heaven is Jesus. I agree with changing the character of Gabriel from sarcasim to compassion. Have you thought of adding a meeting with Jesus in this piece? Maybe Jesus answering the door instead of Gabriel. Just a thought. Keep writing for Jesus!
08/02/06
WOW! THIS IS MASSIVE! I LIKE THE "HEAVENS VERY OWN HIGH SPPEED WIRELESS NETWORK" WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET THAT FROM?