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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Enter (02/27/06)

TITLE: "Lost Keys"
By
03/02/06


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"Lost Keys"

"Now where did I put my keys," Bob asked himself. "I had them when I left this morning. I distinctly remember walking out of the house, locking the door and putting my keys in my pocket."

Bob rifled through every pocket he had. He started his search in his coat, moved to the breast pocket of his shirt, and finally ended with all the pockets in his trousers.

"This is so very odd, I've never lost my keys before. Well, I'll just call my wife and see what time she'll be home to let me in," said Bob. "Now doesn't this just beat all, I can't find my cell phone. Come to thing of it, where's my wallet."

Bob quickly scanned his surroundings hoping to find the missing articles. He searched vainly finding only the perfectly manicured lawn that he thought circled his house.

"Hey, this isn't the door to my house. Mine is shabby and in need of repair but this one is absolutely perfect. I have got to call the guy who made this. The glass inlays are magnificent and the gold is a very nice touch," said Bob as he continued to look around. "This isn't even my house. Good grief, this thing is huge and picture perfect. There's not a blemish anywhere and there must be enough rooms for every man, woman and child on earth."

Bob rang the doorbell to see if there was anyone at home.

A rather stout fellow dressed in pure white and donning a set of wings, greeted Bob. He was drying his hands with what appeared to be a dishcloth. "Sorry for not getting to the door sooner but it's my turn to do the dishes. What can I do for you," asked Gabriel.

"I mistakenly thought this was my house and, not being able find my keys, I rang the bell to see if anyone lived here. Would you happen to have a phone so I can call my wife," asked Bob.

"Sir, this is the door to heaven and you don't need a key to gain entry. All you need is a heart that is fully surrendered to Jesus. No there isn't a phone here and unfortunately, I can't just let anyone in," said Gabriel.

"Umm, door to heaven you say. That explains the size of this place. I've been a relatively good person and I've helped out now and then. Is that enough to let me in," asked Bob.

"Let me check the 'Book Of Life' for your name." Gabriel reached into his pocket and pulled out a small PDA. With just a few taps on the miniature screen, he had access to G-Net, heaven's very own high-speed wireless network.

"What's your last name Bob," asked Gabriel.

"Ardmore."

"Bob Ardmore. I'm sorry to say this Bob, but your name is not in the book. Do you remember accepting Jesus as the Lord of your life and your Savior," asked Gabriel.

"My mom told me I was baptized as a baby but I don't recall being 'born again' if that's what you mean."

"Bob, according to our records you've heard the good news of the Gospel 157 times and were invited to accept Jesus on 23 separate occasions. Each time you dismissed the idea as being not needed or, and I quote, 'That's just not for me.' Any of this ringing a bell Bob," asked Gabriel adding a dollop of sarcasm.

"Looking back at it now, I guess that was a bad decision on my part."

"I'm truly sorry Bob but I can't let you into heaven." With that, Gabriel closed the door and Bob was left to wonder what had gone wrong.

...

Bob woke to realize it was all a dream, but something about it bothered him. Acting on a hunch, Bob went looking for the Bible his mom gave him. He found it under a stack of old magazines. He opened it to the Gospel of John. The first verse to catch Bob's eye read, 'I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.' and Bob's heart skipped a beat.

Bible reference John 10:9 NIV


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Member Comments
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Lynda Schultz 03/06/06
This is nicely done, entertaining, with a little suspense, and lots of message cleverly presented. Watch out for commas in cases like thisóbefore and after: "What's your last name, Bob," asked Gabriel. And, unless you meant that Gabriel answered the door while putting on his wings, you want a word like "sporting a set of wings". Good job.
James Clem 03/07/06
Fun story. Very clever.
I didn't like Gabriel being sarcastic - it's not an Angelic trait (it's one of mine and I'm not an angel.)
Well donee. Good job.
Virginia Gorg03/09/06
I like the use of the number of times he was offered salvation and refused. But I don't believe Gabriel (like earlier comment) is sarcastic, but truly would be saddened by lost souls. Nicely done and held my interest throughout.
Karie Spiller03/10/06
I liked it. It was very well written and it kept my attention. it was a good story with a message.
Patricia Charlton03/12/06
I was confused at the beginning regarding the need for keys. However, the only key needed to get into heaven is Jesus. I agree with changing the character of Gabriel from sarcasim to compassion. Have you thought of adding a meeting with Jesus in this piece? Maybe Jesus answering the door instead of Gabriel. Just a thought. Keep writing for Jesus!
damie pius08/02/06
WOW! THIS IS MASSIVE! I LIKE THE "HEAVENS VERY OWN HIGH SPPEED WIRELESS NETWORK" WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET THAT FROM?