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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Enter (02/27/06)

TITLE: Heaven
By Becky Depp
03/01/06


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One morning Angelica was walking along, minding her own business, when suddenly she stopped; she didn't know where she was or how she got there. She looked below her and she was standing on what appeared to be clouds. In front of her she saw a big gate; it was gold and had pearls all over it. Angelica wasn't scared but she was curious.



"Where am I?" she thought to herself.



"You are at the Pearly Gates," said a loud voice.



Angelica was startled. "Who said that and how did you know what I was thinking?" she questioned.



"I AM," said the voice.



Somehow Angelica knew she was talking with God. "Why am I here?" she asked.



"You are here because you have made a transition."



"What kind of transition?" Angelica interrupted.



"The ultimate one," said God.



Angelica was shocked. "…I can't believe it…I'm dead?" she asked.



"Yes," God said plainly. "I want you to answer me this…Why do you deserve to pass through the Pearly Gate and enter into Heaven and have eternal life?"



Angelica didn't know quite how to answer…she thought of her Mother and Father. She thought of all of her imperfections and her sins and the life that she thought was a pretty good one. "Well…" Angelica began "I had great parents and friends and I think I had a pretty good life. I have sinned just like everyone else because we are all sinners. Although I have never killed anyone or lived in adultery, my sins have been just as bad as that, whether it be lying, cheating or stealing. My answer to you, is that no matter how good a life I have had or however bad or good I have been in my life, I do not deserve to go to Heaven and have eternal life…Because I am a sinner."



And with her answer, God allowed her passage to Heaven and she entered it.


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This article has been read 641 times
Member Comments
Member Date
esther robinson03/07/06
This reminded me of Romans 3:23.
Daniele Moskal03/07/06
I cannot believe that the author of this offering didn't mention JESUS CHRIST at the end of their article!! He is the Only Saviour of the entire world and the founder of Christianity and the only Way to Heaven, "If thou shall confess witht thy mouth and believe in thine heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, you shall be saved!!"

A person will only enter heaven to be with our Lord, if they have accepted Him into their hearts as their LOrd and personal Saviour and repented of their sins!!

A very well-written challenge article though but, it would have been much better if you had mentioned the king of all Kings and the lord of all LORDS - Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Please remember 'Correction is not Rejection!"

God bless love from JOHN3-34 Evangelist

Shelley Snyder03/07/06
Good story, although I think it could have been better if you had mentioned Jesus and how He died to save the main character (as He has for us all), that she had accepted Him as her Saviour.

As the previous comment says, Jesus is the only way into heaven, and I think that should be mentioned as well.

I do like how when she asked who was speaking that you used "I AM" instead of just saying God :o) Good job.
terri tiffany03/08/06
Nicely written but I too was so surprised that her trust in Jesus as our Savior wasn't the reason. There was the perfect set up to say that.I did like the style you used and very well put together.
Virginia Gorg03/09/06
I also like the use of "I AM." But I was expecting to read "I am saved by Jesus Christ."
Andre Kingston03/10/06
The dialogue was well done. However, as a reader, I wanted to know how this little girl died. It saddens my heart to think of a little girl dying. It also puzzled me that she did not ask. Kids ask sooo many questions about EVERYTHING! lol.

As a little kid though, I'm not sure if she needed Jesus yet. Although her maturity and understanding of right and wrong would lead one to believe she would be capable of accepting Jesus for her sins that she repented of. You left me in a grey area there. Can be a good place to leave your reader in, but I'm not sure it is in this case. Either mentioning Jesus or give the little girl less mature understanding of right and wrong and sin would be my suggestion.
Jan Ackerson 03/10/06
A sweet, young story. The extra white spaces were a bit distracting. I agree with the precious commenters about the need to refer to the redeeming work of Christ on the cross...you are a good writer, and will continue to get better.
Lynda Schultz 03/10/06
You needed to go one step further and you would have nailed it: "Because I am a sinner" is like standing on the brink of discovery without the discovery. Judas recognized he was a sinner but never returned to the Saviour — and that's the step I think we need to see here. But on the whole you did very well. Congrats.
Jesus Puppy 08/01/06
This piece seems written from the POV of one who did not know of Christ as her Savior... Yet knew of God, and His final Judgment. Knowing she had sin in her life, she knew she was not deserving of enterance into Heaven.. But God's love is greater, He saw she had excepted her worth as a sinner, and acknowledged her own judgment for her sins.. In that, He blessed with mercy..

A very well done piece. I think others need to remember, there will be many "So called" Christians that wont make it into heaven on that final day. Those proclaiming the name of Jesus, but for there own glory.


   
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