The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/27/06
Wonderful imagery. Well done.
I loved this. You were so creative and it held my attention throughout the entire story. One thing though. I had to read it a few times before understanding who all the characters where. It was a tad confusing, but beautifully written none the less. Great Job!
03/03/06
Oh, very good! I love the idea of unseen spiritual warfare, and the hand of God woorking in ways that we'll never know. Excellent writing.
This is a great story idea. I agree with the previous comment. I had to read it a couple of times to understand it, but the descriptions are good. Consider tweaking it a little bit for flow. I really liked these words: "...Spiritual deceit, could only snarl from a distance."

Reminds me a little of Frank Peretti. Who knows it might be a novel someday. I would buy it.
03/05/06
I had to start this one over after the first couple paragraphs. I was confused at first, but once I figured out who the named characters were, it made SO much more sense lol.

My one suggestion, make it more clear when you jump from the different views. I love stories about spritual warfare :)