The Official Writing Challenge
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This is wonderfully written. I like the way you tied the address and the verse together. Reads well and held my attention.
I definitely liked the connection here. Just something I noticed - to portray a jump in time, all you need is a few dashes, or asterisks. Otherwise it's a very cute story! Well done!
I didn't have enough sapce to type out the verse (James 1:17) so here it is, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." Hope that gives a clearer picture of the love the mom had for her daughter.
Some clever plotting here!
The lines were a little distracting.I can see this story as an ispirational book for women.The woman's scar speaks volumes by itself. Wonderful plot.I'll keep the scripture reference on file. Thanks!
Your writing is good Jess. You might get more comments in level 2. You have the ribbons to show consistent good writing. Weaving the verse throughout was clever. You can add description to your scene and characters, but you'll have to escape the 750 word limit to do it.
I liked the way you used hidden messages in your story. It reminded me of an old story about a son who wanted a car, but his father gave him a Bible instead. In his disappointment the son didn't open the Bible for many years. When he finally opened it, he found a check tucked inside that was enough money to have bought the car. Good job.
June's decision to come seems illogical, in the speed at which she decided to go. If the narrator was an old friend, maybe, but with an event that tragic?

Asides from that, I liked it. Just make you don't go from point A to point C without making a point B. I also realize your difficulty with word count constraints. Hope that helps :).

BTW, my favorite part about this article was how the little details were woven into the piece. Well done :).

A nice story, good characters. I like the way you tied it all together.
A little problem with the title. "Inheritance" is something one receives (the mother isn't receiving, but giving). Perhaps "legacy" or "bequest" would be more accurate.
A good story but not very believeable of a complete stranger coming into someone's home and then going with them to find her father. I agree with the other reviews to leave out the dashes and clean it up a bit and add a little depth to the characters and this would be a good piece. Practice, practice, practice and I know you will move up soon.