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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: End (02/13/06)

TITLE: The End?
By Karie Spiller
02/15/06


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Heidi watched as the paramedics put her 4-month-old daughter in the back of the ambulance. She had stopped breathing, and her outlook looked grim. The paramedics had resuscitated her, but her breathing was shallow and slow.

On the way to the hospital, Heidi thought about how her formerly fairy-tale life had fallen short of “happily ever after”. Her husband, George, had been her high-school sweetheart, and their wedding had been beautiful. Then God blessed them with Jennifer. However, shortly after that, George was diagnosed with a rare disease that took his life quickly. Over the last month, she had busied herself with the care of her daughter and tried not to think of George.

“God, please don’t let her die!” she exclaimed.
“Ma’am, we will do our best to make your daughter well,” an EMT assured her as he helped her up into the ambulance.

The next morning, the EMT came into the room where Jennifer was sleeping peacefully.
“She made it through the night,” he said.
“Yes, she did. Thanks for caring for her,” Heidi said.
“What a miracle,” he said as he looked at the baby.
“What is?” she asked.
“Babies. I have seen so many babies born. It never ceases to amaze me how God could make such a precious thing. Every baby is a new beginning in life. You have an especially beautiful baby girl,” he said.
“George always said she looks like me,” Heidi said.
“He was right,” the EMT said with a smile. A shiver ran up her spine and then a look of recognition came over her face.
“Kyle? Kyle Carliss?” she asked.
“You remembered,” he said.
“Yes, weren’t we lab partners in high school?” she asked.
“Yes, we were. I saw you here with your husband last month, and I recognized you then. I’m sorry to hear about your loss,” Kyle said.
“My life will never be the same,” Heidi said sadly.
“I lost my own wife and daughter about a year ago. Sometimes I still miss them, but grieving takes time,” he said as the tears started to fall.
Heidi looked at him and felt a connection with his pain.

Kyle visited Heidi and Jennifer every day while they were in the hospital. A week went by and Jennifer’s condition grew worse. One day as Heidi held Jennifer’s little hand, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up into the face of Kyle.

“You look like you could use a friend,” he said as he sat down next to her.
“Yes, I could. The doctor told me that the next time her heart fails, she may not make it,” Heidi said as she choked back the tears.

They were silent for a few minutes as they got lost in their own thoughts.

“She can’t die!” Heidi exclaimed as she buried her face in his shoulder. Her tears stained his shirt as he put his arm around her to comfort her.
“Heidi, God will take care of her,” he said.

Kyle and Heidi spent much of the next two weeks with Jennifer. They prayed together and shared many things, often into the wee hours of the morning. Jennifer slowly started to get better.
One day Kyle came in and saw Heidi dressing Jennifer.

“She’s going home today,” she said.
“I heard. I’m so glad,” Kyle said with a smile.
“Me, too! And thank you Kyle, for walking back into my life. I don’t think I would have made it through these last few weeks without you,” Heidi said.
“I’m glad I could help. But now that you are leaving, will I get to see you again?” he asked.
“I think I’d like that,” Heidi said with a smile.
“I’ll call you,” Kyle said. …

Four years later, Heidi smiled as she watched Jennifer playing with Kyle.
“Daddy, tell me the story again, about how you met Mommy?” she asked.
He took her into his lap and smiled at Heidi. Heidi smiled back and thought about that day four years ago. It was not the end of her fairy tale; it was just the end of the chapter. George was gone, but God had brought Kyle into her life and started a whole new chapter.


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This article has been read 527 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 02/20/06
Very nicely done.
Anita Neuman02/23/06
Wow - you've packed a whole lot of story into a few words, and you did it well. For ease of readability, you should add an extra space between lines in the dialogue - make it a new paragraph every time someone new speaks.
Virginia Gorg02/23/06
A tear-jerker - excellent article. Held my interest and you built up the characters nicely.
Cassie Memmer02/23/06
Very sweet. I love happy endings. Thanks!
Andre Kingston02/24/06
Good story. Nice character sketch of the mother. You brought tears to my eyes. However, I think you could benefit from a proofreader. Just a word here or a phrase there that could have been better - not much though. If you would like the next one proofread PM me.
Marilyn Schnepp 02/24/06
A very sweet story book romance; I liked it. However, if I were you I'd take Andre up on her willingness to proofread the next one for you - it does need editing, and in time you will learn to proofread and edit yourself. God Bless.
Shari Armstrong 02/25/06
A little predictable when they met in the hospital, but there's nothing wrong with happy endings. God lets things like this happen all the time, so it's still believable. Touching and well done :)


   
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