The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/13/06
Clever use of the theme. This was well done except that the jumping back and forth was distracting. Congratulations on a good story.
02/14/06
It is clever. The time jumps are abrupt.

Question:
"But while Brea helped me get a job, she was going to lose her business." <-- should this be in Present Day.

Last line was a great ending.
02/20/06
Congratulations! Very interesting story...and we all DO need a little Brea in our lives. :)
02/20/06
Congrats Jess! I was hoping this would place. : - )
Congrats! I enjoyed the story. We have a Christian deli in town, too! :-)
Delightful story! Congratulations on your well deserved win!
02/21/06
Your ending was worth the whole story... It felt as though i was at the corner table in the piece... watching it all... seeing it all... Thanks for inviting me to attend the meeting