I heard the familiar steps to the fridge, back to the couch and the 'popsst' coming from the tab being opened on another beer.
"Michael, plueease!" I literally cried, "I can't take this anymore!"
I knew it...I was going to break. I wanted to scream, beat and pound it out of him, but no way could I do that even if I wanted to. So, frustration and tears bellowed out instead.
Two people couldn't have looked so much alike at that moment. Mother and son. He was upset that he caused his mother so much grief. His eyes misted sorrowfully, while I noticed he was breaking too.
"Mike, can't you go one day, one whole day without a beer?" I pleaded.
He can't stop, and he admits that to me often. He is beyond having the ability to do that on his own now. I've been dealing with his alcoholism since he was a teen, and he is a man now at 26. It would take the power of the Holy Ghost to overcome this addiction.
Several times we made trips to the emergency room for alcohol poison, and blood pressure that was going through the roof. His hands are trembling constantly. I worry when he goes out with his friends, that he will pass out and die, and they won't even notice. Many nights he falls asleep sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand. I take his shoes off, lay him down with a pillow under his head, and cover him up. Laying hands lovingly on his forehead praying in the name of Jesus.
I contacted his father, who lives in another state with his other family. Desperate for help dealing with our son's problem. He claims there is nothing he can do, and doesn't make any effort to try. After 16 years of separation, he barely knows this family. Nonetheless, for Michael's sake, I thought I would try.
I'm truly thankful that I have known the one who can do something. I put my hope in the Lord Jesus.
I've learned what a heartbreaking experience it is to live with someone that has an addiction. If a husband, wife, child or even a friend, it's a very hard ordeal to endure. Watching someone you deeply care for, basically killing themselves a drop at a time.
Oh, you may think reading this story, that the Lord hasn't heard our prayers. I assure he has, and he is not far from us. We may not realize it, but he sees all things in advance. He answers prayer the moment they come out of our mouth, from the heart.
That day, the Lord spoke to me, showing me that we needed to break. He was allowing us to break together, according to his plan and purpose for our lives.
Past mistakes, past hurts and haunted halls. The painful memories that surrounds our hearts, that has built up these bitter walls. They have no place in the Lord's house. These things have to break, and crumble away, so that the Lord can mold around us new and better things in our lives.
The following day, my son comes in from work as usual. I hear the familiar sound of footsteps walking to the fridge, and back to the couch. 'Popsst' coming from the tab of a beer can opening.
Michael called out, "Hey mom, do you remember when dad peeled out of the driveway, and left me and Chris standing there watching him drive away? We missed him so much we were looking for his footprints in the dirt."
Some things I'd rather keep buried, but yes...I remember.
Silently I pray, Thank you Jesus for the break, as you chip away the bitter roots of our past. Thank you for helping us through the love we have for one another, and the healing you bring. amen
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