The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You have a powerful message here, and one powerfully written. When I got to the last paragraph, I felt like I should be turning the page — but there was no page to turn. A little "something" to tie things up at the end would really punch this up even more.
I love the fact that the woman's eyes reminded him of the doe--nice touch.
I liked the opening paragraph and how you presented this man. I thought the twist was nice and then the surprise at the end. Nice writing:)
This was a powerful story-came in powerfully and left even more so. Wonderful that you tied the volunteer in with the doe. Bravo! Very well done. God bless ya, littlelight
Great story and lesson. Your writing is good. I agree the story fell a little flat at the end. It is very hard to get those satisfying endings down. Keep at it, I'm sure you'll get it.