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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Control (01/30/06)

TITLE: Rear View Mirror
By Candice Kettell


Tim Morrison Graduated Texas A&M class of 2004. Two years later he had published 2 best sellers and was currently working on a 3rd. Tim's degree was in journalism but he had also studied extensively in religion, philosophy and sociology. Tim knew people. That's why he wrote best sellers. He knew what people wanted to hear. He knew what publishers were looking for. Everything in life came down to one thing. Control. His 1st book, 'You Own It Take It', hit the best sellers list after 6 months in print. His last one, 'Free Yourself', made the best sellers list in only 4 months! What he was working on now, 'Take Control', was already pre ordered in all the major book stores!

Glancing at the dashboard clock he saw that it was 4:37 pm. His meeting was at 6 pm. in Nashville. At this rate he should be a half hour early! If people would just take control of their lives, this is how it would be for everyone. No rushing around because they didn't plan things out correctly. No indebtedness, if they just took control of their finances and became more efficient. Your success in life depended on your decision to take control. Reaching for the micro recorder in the empty seat next to him, Tim clicked the record button. He was not going to lose one bit of inspired thought for his new book. People need to hear the truth.

“Your marriage did not fail. You failed. If you take control of your relationship, then it will succeed. . You control your own body. Think it is fat? Think it is too thin? Take control and make it the body you want. Your job stinks and holds no growth for you? Take control. Get out there and get another job. Stop falling prey to our cultural lies. Lies that tell you that you need to find your faith. Find your self. Lies that tell you to look to another for answers! Some therapist who just wants to add a jacuzzi to his backyard? Some God that no one can see but supposedly helps you with everything? Why not cuddle up with an imaginary friend while you're at it? You, are answerable to you. Stop relying on false teachings. On a therapist who never met you. A minister who needs more 'guilt' money in the collection basket. A God that can not be proven to exist! You want to know about faith my friend? Have faith in yourself. YOU are real. Take control of your life.”

Tim slammed his brakes. Tires screeched. His heart pounded in his chest as his tires came to a halt. Breathing heavily he stared into the doleful brown eyes of a slender doe standing in the middle of the road. One graceful bound and the doe was over the embankment. Tim started to chuckle as he put the car in drive and pulled back onto the highway. It was all about control. The mercedes purred as it excelled down the road. He had complete control of the car at all times. Not a dent in it. Never completely left the road. Did he need the aid of a God to help him? He only needed himself. Smiling he looked in his rear view mirror. Perhaps if he had been looking in front, he would have seen the buck dart into the road.

Seven weeks later Tim was still in intensive care. A breathing machine made his lungs work. An I.V. Bag hanging near his bed provided him with nutrition. A nurse came in to change his soiled bedding. Hot tears trickled from his closed eyes. He had no control now. Everyone else had control of him. Why did this happen to him? He was intelligent. He had a successful career. He did it all right. Didn't he?.

A woman entered. She was tall, rail thin and plainly dressed. Her eyes were a warm brown. They reminded him of the doe. She held a book in her hands as she stepped to his side. “I volunteer here sometimes.” Sitting down she smiled softly at him. “My name is Lily. I would like to share something with you if I may.” She opened the book in her hands and began to read Psa 25:5. “Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.”

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Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 02/06/06
You have a powerful message here, and one powerfully written. When I got to the last paragraph, I felt like I should be turning the page — but there was no page to turn. A little "something" to tie things up at the end would really punch this up even more.
Jan Ackerson 02/07/06
I love the fact that the woman's eyes reminded him of the doe--nice touch.
terri tiffany02/08/06
I liked the opening paragraph and how you presented this man. I thought the twist was nice and then the surprise at the end. Nice writing:)
Nina Phillips02/08/06
This was a powerful story-came in powerfully and left even more so. Wonderful that you tied the volunteer in with the doe. Bravo! Very well done. God bless ya, littlelight
Great story and lesson. Your writing is good. I agree the story fell a little flat at the end. It is very hard to get those satisfying endings down. Keep at it, I'm sure you'll get it.