The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/06/06
You have a powerful message here, and one powerfully written. When I got to the last paragraph, I felt like I should be turning the page — but there was no page to turn. A little "something" to tie things up at the end would really punch this up even more.
02/07/06
I love the fact that the woman's eyes reminded him of the doe--nice touch.
02/08/06
I liked the opening paragraph and how you presented this man. I thought the twist was nice and then the surprise at the end. Nice writing:)
02/08/06
This was a powerful story-came in powerfully and left even more so. Wonderful that you tied the volunteer in with the doe. Bravo! Very well done. God bless ya, littlelight
02/09/06
Great story and lesson. Your writing is good. I agree the story fell a little flat at the end. It is very hard to get those satisfying endings down. Keep at it, I'm sure you'll get it.