The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/07/06
I liked the seven secret pills. I found it hard to digest this story as I was reading, and went back to read it again. The charactors seemed to need more clarification. It was a little bit confusing at the start. Still a nice story though. Little more on the developement and separation of the charactors. God bless ya, littlelight
I liked your ending. There was a little confusion for me too, so separating the dialogue and more definition of the characters speaking, thinking and telling would solve that. Very creative work! I enjoyed grandma's philosophy!
02/08/06
I too had a llittle problem following through, but I like the seven pills.
02/08/06
I like your 7 points--you might want to use them to write this in the form of a devotional.

Watch for run-on sentences and punctuation errors. And a final suggestion: you have 3 characters, all with names beginning with "S". It might be easier to keep track of who's who if their names were more different.

I really liked the spunk of Mrs. Control.