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I felt chained, body and soul. No opinion, no emotion, no action was uncontrolled. Did I realize at the time how much I was manipulated? Did he realize what he was doing, by word and deed?
My husband was a professing Christian, in fact had been ordained as a pastor, but he was a man full of pain and he lashed out regularly in the confines of his home, creating an atmosphere of fear and tension.
As time passed I could barely tolerate the touch of his hand on my back, guiding me into our seat at church. I lived in fear that the threats would eventually become more violent and I started to feel the harsh words as a physical pain piercing my very being.
I hung onto God and trusted that He would, in His time, bring me and my children out of that intolerable situation. I reminded myself each day that He never changed, I could trust Him to be the same each day, He was my avenger. I wanted to be an example of a godly womanhood before my sons, I felt I had to wait so that they would know it was God, not man, who said enough was enough.
One Sunday a prophetic word was given, by a visiting ministry to our church, that no one but myself understood. I was sure it was my cue to stand up and accept no more.
It has been eight years now since the divorce, and I thank God in His graciousness that I have no bitterness in my heart. My sons are all grown into fine men, and despite the example of their father are serving God.
As I look back to that time of enslavement, I can say, like Joseph in that although evil was said and done to me, God used those same plans for good. I am happily remarried and all of myself, that was lost, has been recovered. God brought a fine man into my life, through a dream, and that is another story, which I may tell you one day.
Romans 12:19 Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."
Gen 50:20 Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now--life for many people.
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