Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Control (01/30/06)
TITLE: A nagging wife annoys like constant dripping
By Kirralie Smith
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There were nights when he would just sit in front of the news and expect me to get dinner. Or other times the garbage would pile up for days until I asked him enough times to take it out. (I always said please.) He would want to do things his way and wouldn’t even consult me about it. I know he was a tradesmen, and a good one at that, but I thought my suggestions were very creative.
This will be even harder to believe, but I really would stay awake at night thinking of ways to get him to see things my way. This man needed to be educated. I would toss and turn while he slept soundly, snoring even! Sometimes I just had to wake him up and ask him, “How can you sleep with this between us?” “With what between us?” he would reply drowsily. Huffing and puffing I would get up and move to the lounge expecting him to follow and make it all better. What was he thinking?
This went on for years. At the same time I was observing my friends in their marriage. At first, it caused me to think how blessed I really was. My friend’s husband would never wash up or help with anything it seemed to me. At least my husband did the things I wanted after I nagged him enough. What really got me though was that my friend never nagged. Ever. And it really confused me that she seemed so content with her marriage. More than content actually. She was constantly hugging and kissing her husband, making him cups of tea and talking about what a great husband he was.
Eventually she became my mentor and I can remember the day God broke through and changed my life and marriage forever. My mentor, in grace and love, spoke that incredibly dirty word – submission. The word that causes such a great reaction wherever it is mentioned, even hinted at. The word that means relinquishing control to another. My flesh rose up but my spirit soared with her words, because she had authority to speak them. I had seen her walk it out, I had seen the success and prosperity in her marriage as a result of submission.
So many words of wisdom were shared that day and over the years that have followed. Words that have liberated me and released me to be a wife that brings joy and strength to her husband, instead of annoyance and pain. What were those words?
She said, “Darlin’, when you stand before Jesus on judgment day do you think he is going to say, ‘Good on you girl, you showed him alright. He was so wrong and you nagged and nagged until he got it through his thick head that this was how a real husband behaved?’ Or will he say, ‘Why didn’t you submit to your husband like I asked you to?”
I was cut to the heart. The word of God is plain and simple if we take it literally. It is the truth that sets men free! My testimony is that as I have allowed God to be in control I have enjoyed my marriage more every day. He is the judge, the refiner of me and my husband. He is the only one able to change my husband. It is I who needed to change the most though. As I have practiced walking in submission to God first and then my husband I have seen my marriage grow from strength to strength.
Today, I think of and refer to my husband even more as my big hunk of a man. He is strong, intelligent, funny and loving, just like Jesus in so many ways. Hallelujah!
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