The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/31/06
This seems more about Honey than about Chaz. Maybe it would work better by telling it from Chaz's perspective.
01/31/06
Could use some sentence structure and punctuation work but I can see that you really tried hard to develop your character with dialogue.
02/03/06
This needs some paragrphing to make it "reader friendly"; and it also could use some sentence structure with comma's and periods to break up the sentences. It can easily be fixed with some editing and re=writing. Thanks for sharing.
02/03/06
I loved the message under the entire story...to me it seems to say "be careful what you ask for! Honey wanted space and boy did she get it "anything for my lady..." great message!
02/03/06
I loved the message under the entire story...to me it seems to say "be careful what you ask for! Honey wanted space and boy did she get it "anything for my lady..." great story.
02/05/06
This is a good, "I know you can read between the lines," story. I agree, be careful what you ask for. Lack of communication and too much space. A little editing, and this would right on! God bless ya, littlelight