 |
|
|
Are you out there God? I look into the never ending world of space and I am not so sure. It seems endless and the clichés that You are endless too doesn’t ease the space in my heart where doubt lingers. I’ve tried, You know I’ve tried but I am so tired of trying to find ways to have you notice me. Please, I don’t need to hear that “You know all about me, from the beginning, you planned me,” yada yada yada. Because the truth is, the faith that burned inside of me for 50 years is gone. I tried to hold on it through that last crisis, You know I did. But You never answered me, you never helped to just ease the pain. I wasn’t asking you to solve the problem—it was too late for that—just take away the pain for awhile.
Once again I looked up into the universe and saw only empty space—the magnitude of it all no longer amazed me. It was just space.
It’s not that I don’t believe you exist. I would like to think that, it would be easier, but it’s too hard to shake a life time habit. No, I just know you will not intervene in my life. I read the testimony of drunks wandering into a church and their life took on dramatic new beginnings. I wander in sober and go out with little relief in my heart.
So now there is just an empty space where you once lingered. I miss You. I miss the lift that having faith provided. I’ve come to You so many times but now my heart is too heavy to move any more. I figure you know where I live so I wait on You. I hold tight that my works should reflect You so I go forth trying to make a difference in someone’s life. I’ve given up on mine but maybe there’s hope for them. I’m not looking for recognition; I just want You to know I got the big message okay.
I try not to look at the sky at night any more. Infinite space makes You seem more out of reach. The world’s is crazy so I understand my pocket of grief must seem minor. It’s okay. I’ll cope. I guess this is where I say Amen till next time God. I think I’ll find a smaller space to pray in too.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
|
|
|
