The phone rang and I glanced at the caller i.d. It was my husband calling.
“Hi honey.” He said.
I knew what the next sentence was even before he spoke. “Sorry, but I’m running late again. I got held up at work.”
This was happening more and more frequently. As much as I tried to be sympathetic and supportive for my husband and his work, I found myself churning with anger. On the outside, I told him it was OK, and to be careful driving home. On the inside, fury!
The demands of our daily lives were driving a wedge between us. I felt like I was losing my husband to his job. But I didn’t want to complain. His job was important, and I never wanted to be a nagging wife.
Yet, somehow, on this night, I didn’t think I could hold in my aggravation any longer.
After my husband finally made it home, he spent the first 15 minutes with me complaining about his job, and letting out his own frustrations with his work situation.
The more he talked, the more my anger boiled. I couldn’t listen to any more of his tirade. I got up, went to the kitchen and began doing the dishes already there from feeding our kids earlier. My husband followed me, and began to help. I finally couldn’t hold my thoughts in any more.
“I want to support you, Honey. I want to be encouraging and listen to you. But I can’t do it tonight. I don’t have anything left to give to you.”
“What do you mean?” He asked startled, “You have given me what I needed, you listened to me.”
Tears welled in my eyes. He didn’t understand my own frustration. I threw down the dishtowel and stormed away in a huff. My husband again followed me, and asked if I was angry with him.
Finally turning to him, I hugged him, cried even harder and blubbered, “I hate your job!”
He looked directly at me and said, “Then you and I are in agreement, because I hate my job, too.” We laughed together for the first time in weeks.
He then lead me by the hand, and we talked for several hours about our thoughts and our feelings, and what we needed to do with God’s help.
I realized that during the times we feel distant from our spouses, or even distant from God, we still need to communicate. By talking openly and honestly with my husband about how I felt, we found common ground, and strength in each other. The frustration and distance melted and the empty space evaporated. It’s the same with God. Keep talking, keep praying, even when you feel distant, and God will close the gap and give you strength.
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