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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Space (01/23/06)

TITLE: Careful What You Wish For
By Janelle Bailey
01/24/06


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Grinding my teeth somewhat, I yanked open the door, irritated by yet another interruption to my chaotic morning. Standing there was a well dressed man, obviously peddling something.

“If you’re selling, I’m not buying,” I said rather rudely. “And if you’re preaching, I’m not believing.”

Smiling graciously he merely stuck his foot in the door jamb, as I attempted to slam the door on him.

“I beg your pardon, ma’am,” he said smoothly, “but I believe something is burning.”

Rushing away, I found my well planned lunch had turned to charcoal in my absence. It took fifteen minutes to dispose of the residue, and another fifteen to clean the flour and eggs that my very quiet children had used to paint the floor. After shooing the children outside, I returned to find the salesman seated comfortably on the sofa. It was the last thing I wanted to see.

“You! What are you doing still here?”

“Please,” he replied soothingly, “I am only here to return something of yours.”

“Go on,” I replied, still suspicious, yet curious also. I couldn’t remember losing anything recently, but then, you never know.

“It’s something that you have been missing for a number of years since, er… they were born,” he said looking at our family photo. “Would you like it back?”

Looking at the photo I was suddenly filled with a longing for whatever it was that I had before children came along.

“Yes,” I replied firmly.

Impulsively I signed the document before me, and taking the small box the stranger had handed me in return, opened it gingerly.

Everything vanished.

I was standing on an island of grass, not more than two feet wide, surrounded by an eternity of nothing. Space. I had all the space in the world. No husband. No children. No messy house or snowballing chores. Nothing. Just space. And suddenly I realised the horror of what I had done. I had what I had wished for at last.


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This article has been read 541 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jessica Schmit01/30/06
This is an awesome stroy. I can't believe that no one has commented on it yet. It was short, sweet and left a powerful ending. Good writing!
Lynda Schultz 01/31/06
ditto. This was very well done and a totally unexpected ending to boot.
Joann Leslie02/01/06
Excellent. Especially intense for us moms who find ourselves more irritated than we would like somedays. A reminder that I treasure my family.
Grace Sempa02/01/06
Well written, with a fitting title.
The ending was dramatic.
Carla Feagans02/01/06
Very good reminder. As someone who gets bogged down with kids and husbands and chores each morning before breakfast even hits, this really hit home. I know I wouldn't trade them for the world, but in the day to day, sometimes it's hard to focus on the positive.

Thanks for this!
Belenda Corlew02/01/06
Puts 'wishing' into check. Be careful of what you wish for. It might just backfire!
Nina Phillips02/05/06
That was some kind of nightmare wish come true! Or a bad daydream. YIKES! Makes ya think doesn't it?
Short, different and what a whammer at the end. God bless ya, littlelight