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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Start (01/16/06)

TITLE: Ice Storm
By Candice Kettell
01/19/06


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Ice Storm


“I thought this wasn't supposed to start until later this afternoon!” Scraper in hand I headed out the door.

“I think it's cool. Look at all that ice! It's beautiful!” Kaitlynn peered out the kitchen window. “And best of all no school.”

It sounded like the boulders were coming off the mountain side. I imagined our little cottage getting crushed or pushed into the lake by one. I stepped out. I found myself sliding down the driveway. Past my car. I didn't stop at the end of the drive either. Halfway across the road my speed slowed to a gradually stop. Wet ice. Nice.

Thank you God for giving me a sense of balance. I started to inch along the ice toward the old station wagon. I had never seen anything like it. There was no seam. It looked like someone poured water over the car until a thick smooth glistening layer enveloped the entire thing! I pounded the handle and door frame with my fist. Chunks flew back at me. I opened the door and climbed in. Lord God please let it start up. Some cars just didn't like the cold. Mine was one of them. It started. Thank you Lord. I scooted along the ice back to the house.

Kaitlynn greeted me. “Why can't I stay? I can take care of myself.”

The cracking sound from the trees was now non stop. “ Don't start with me. You are 13.” As if that explained why.

Daniel jumped off the couch. “I can stay with her mom. We have storms every winter. No big deal right?” He came to stand next to his older sister. “We have plenty of blankets and supplies.”

“Do you guys even hear all that crackling and crashing out there?” Blank stares. “This is not just a storm. It is a very bad one and we need to leave right now, so move it.” I turned back to the door. “I'm going back out to chip the ice off the car and I want the two of you ready to go when I come back in.”

“But.”

“Don't even start with me again! I mean it. Now move!” The kids stomped up the stairs. The defrost had no effect on the windshield yet. I start chipping away with the scraper.

The front door opened. “Wow! This looks like an ice age!” Daniel looked like a surfer as he slid to the car.

“And you have seen an ice age?” I tried to hide the grin.

Kaitlynn snickered. “I brought my cam cord to film.”

Everything was iced. The ice was so thick on the trees that they were bent and looked fake. I was reminded of a haunted forest scene in a scooby doo cartoon. Only with ice.

A tall pine came down with a loud crash behind the house. The kids screamed. “Get in and buckle up.”

“Are we gonna die?” I saw the tears start to form in the rear view mirror.

“Not today.” I put the car in reverse. “God will protect us. You could start praying now though.” I laughed. It wasn't funny. Silence filled the back seat.

The wagon started down the icy road. “What if God is punishing us? He won't protect us then.”

“God is not punishing anyone Kaitlynn” Crash. Another pine. The tips of a few branches swooshing against the back end of the wagon. Thank you Lord for protecting us.

“The world is full of evil mom. He may be sick of it.”

Lord give me strength. “The world has always had evil. The world has always had good also. God is with us always Kaitlynn Let's pray together.” I heard two heartfelt amens from the back seat.

I swerve to miss a telephone pole laying in the road. “Lord we pray You cover us with the blood of the lamb. Protect us from all harm and evil as we travel in this storm. Bring us home safely to my parents. In the name of Jesus, we thank You and praise You. Amen.”

Under normal circumstances the drive to mom's would take about 15 minutes. After more then an hour we pulled into her yard. My fingers were stiff and my hands ached. I guess I didn't realize how tightly I had been gripping the wheel. I bowed my head. I felt the warmth of tears flood my eyes as I prayed. Thank you Lord God. Thank you.


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This article has been read 537 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 01/24/06
I really like the realistic characters you created here, and the mother's handling of the situation. A few edits for comma usage and consistent tense will make this a superb entry.
terri tiffany01/26/06
Well I was right there with them! You described the scene very well and I think the mom was very realistic as well! Made me happy I live in Fla and no more ice!!Brrr...
Jeffrey Snell01/27/06
Ditto to Jan's comments. The characters read real and your descriptions of the icy surroundings worked very well!
Shari Armstrong 01/27/06
Ice is the worst to drive in! Well done -and nice dialog with the kids :)
Cheryl Harrison 01/27/06
I identified with this one. Made me shiver. I have never had to flee from an ice storm. But, this past hurricane season, I was faced with two hurricanes. In the aftermath of Katrina, I found myself directing a hurricane relief shelter. Then when Rita targeted my hometown, I found myself fleeing. Thanks for them memories! Good job!
Val Clark01/28/06
A well written, fast paced, story with realistic characterization and a strong sense of place. I particularly like the mum giving thanks and allying the kids rears that they were being punished. Yeggy

Pat Guy 01/29/06
Wow! I've never experienced anything like this! You took us right along with you! Good job!