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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Start (01/16/06)

TITLE: Waiting To Start
By Tammy McConnell


I’m waiting…waiting for God’s voice. As soon as He tells me what He wants me to do…I’d be more than happy to oblige. I went here and I went there…hoping to hear from Him. When the doctor said, “Maybe a change of climate will help your son”, we moved. Then we waited a while…I wanted to know what God’s will was. When poisonous spiders were crawling out of every nook and cranny of our new home, obviously I couldn’t just sit around waiting. Our son’s health had improved to perfection, but my family’s well-being was in jeopardy. We moved again. “Boy, circumstances sure do lead us around by the nose!”

It’s almost spring and our house is too small…I know we need to move. I’m just waiting for the lease to expire. This time though we want to buy a house. We’ve landed. We really love this town, but a farmhouse out in the country has always been my plan. Soon we’ll start preparing to attain our goals, reach out and take hold of them and make them our own. Soon, we’ll start. We’re just waiting for God’s voice. Seems like all I ever do is wait. “When is He going to speak?”

My husband is tapping out Morse code on the ham radio behind me. He already has his Technician license, but now he’s studying for the next level test, General. His dream of becoming a storm chaser is developing…slowly. He bought radar equipment last spring; I built him a website. We live in Tornado Alley, so he’s been able to videotape several tornadoes. Good thing for my son’s skin condition (Oh the irony)! We wouldn’t have moved here if not for that.

It’s very hard…this waiting. When we moved here, we said, “It’s time for a fresh start. Let’s do what we’ve always wanted to do. I’ll work from home and you’ll chase storms.” When I’m not learning a new computer language or building a website, I read my Bible. I want to make sure I hear His voice when He finally decides that it’s okay for me to start. I’m trying not to get cynical…but, “When will I hear from Him?”

We did get that scholarship from the rehab my husband completed twenty-one years ago. It made it possible to buy new software for my home business. “But I don’t have any customers!” We can’t afford to buy that farmhouse out in the country on just my husband’s salary; he works at the homeless shelter for crying out loud. Oh, I know, he’s giving back now…that’s his way of saying “Thank You!” to society for putting him back on the right track. Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah! But his paycheck alone will not get us out of here; it barely pays the bills! At this rate, we’ll never get out of life what we’re owed if God doesn’t hurry up and speak!

The kids keep interrupting me with their schoolwork. Don’t they understand that it’s my job to get this business off the ground? We are never going to be able to move out of this tiny house if I don’t start making some money. I even took time out of my busy schedule to test them. Homeschoolers need to "prove" themselves, you know. I guess I was feeling a little guilty for making them do so much of the work on their own. Amazingly, they’re doing just fine. When I finally hear from God, then things will slow down. I’ll be able to spend more time with them; even get back to that “snuggle time” we used to have. “God, don’t you see that my kids need me? When are you going to speak?”

I know … I’ll go to church, talk to the Pastor. He’ll know how I can get God to “speak up”. He’s familiar with our story; he’s even from our neck of the woods. I didn’t know them personally then, but Ruth did and Eileen. I can’t believe we have friends in common. Five states away…wow! He planted our sister church back in New York. Incredible … 14 years ago, I was just getting married! Imagine his surprise when we told him where we were from! He’ll know what I should do.

…Or perhaps, you have some advice for me.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 01/23/06
Your narrator says, "...when I finally hear from God, then things will slow down... It seems to me that when she slows down, she will finally hear from God.
Cheryl Harrison01/27/06
Oh, the frustration of waiting! Your article brought to mind a scripture I had not thought of in awhile.

Exodus 40:36-38 (NIV):

"In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out--until the day it lifted. So the cloud of the LORD was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel during all their travels."

Whenever the cloud lifted the Israelites would pack up their tents and move on. They didn't know God's time schedule. All they knew was to keep their eyes on the cloud. This way, when the time came to move on, they were ready to go.

Waiting is difficult. However, learning to trust God's timing instead of our own, just might create an adventure in the midst of waiting.

God will never mislead us. His timing is always perfect. All we have to do is stay focused on His guiding presence - (i.e. - the cloud).

Thanks for the inspiration.
Lynda Schultz 01/27/06
Your story reminds of something that I have had to learn, and relearn, several times over the years. God often begins to answer our prayers when we stop telling Him what to do, or accusing Him of not doing anything, and simply ask Him for the grace and strength to live out each day in a way that is pleasing to Him. Thanks for reminding me again.
Sandy Hammock03/10/06
I agree with Jan who said we hear from God when we slow down.
I agree with all the other comments. I know what it's like to be in "God's waiting room", have degrees and talents, and not know what it is He wants you to do to contribute to your family.
Also, though I keep going to your websites and all of your writings, and it looks like you have started. I'll keep you & your family in my prayers.