The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/23/06
Very cute, you really captured this little fellow's first steps. I'm not sure that you needed all the phrases with the same meaning in your first sentence. I can just see this toddler on his unsteady feet!
01/23/06
Oh this is cute! LOL! I could just see the little guy too. There had to be a mischievious sparkle in his eye. In yours too! And every moment is brand new for those little ones, each and everyone is a new start. I enjoyed this!
01/24/06
Sorry folks this was suppose to be a stupid entery... with nothing but "Starters"... then I saw it would never end and made it a childs steps.
This captured the little boys first steps beautifully, but I agree that the first sentance needs tightening up. Keep writing and God bless.
01/28/06
A little reworking of the first paragraph, removing a few commas, and this would be excellent.
I think it is alright to leave the identity of the 'walker' til the last. The last sentence was a delightful surprise regardless of how you intended the piece to turn out.
I wonder if the young mother realized what frustration she caused her little adventurer. Far from being a 'stupid entry', you touched me with the remembrances of my own children when they were toddlers.