The Official Writing Challenge
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A fascinating take on this subject. Something I had never thought of is the way that different cultures relate to neighbours. It's usual practice to give create a new paragraph for each time dialogue switches from one speaker to the next. It makes it easier for the reader to follow who is saying what. I liked how it ended with the MC starting small. This is more realistic than if she suddenly started behaving in a completely different way. Thanks for the read.
06/10/17
You gave the reader a good insight into the difficulties of changing cultural locations.

Just a few pointers to help you grow. I could feel that you have a lot of passion and you certainly could enlighten on cultural issues. Please take these ideas for improvement as a way to encourage the readers to be engaged in your stories.

Put more active words, not passive, in your writing. Passive makes it sound like a newspaper story.

Count the "to be" words, i.e., was, were, have, has, etc.

Check your grammar, specifically commas.

And go to FaithWriter's resource area and you will find a lot of help.

You have great potential and I look forward to seeing some passionate stories in the future. Keep writing. God bless.
This is a touching story. It gives the reader insight into different cultures. Those differences aren't just across the world, but across the street too.

I'd urge you to tighten up some of your sentences and start off with the conflict right out of the box. For example, I might edit it like this: Wailing sirens roused me. Tina and I had been watching a boring movie and drowsed off. Jumping up, I looked out the window and saw an ambulance pull in next door. I grabbed my coat and headed for the door.
Tina yanked my arm. "Don't go. You don't even know them. It's different here. We're not in Africa anymore."

That's a quick example to show my point. It needs tweaking, but the conflict is right there, urging the reader on.

You've done some great things here. I like your message. It is important to blend in with our community, but more important to listen to God. I can feel your passion and believe God is using you in many ways.
06/12/17
You really touched the pulse of how our multi-cultural world seems to operate. Thank you for being courageous.

I kept wondering if you ever went out to see what was going on. However, I like how you resolved to be a good neighbor.

Good story with a feel good ending. Way to go!
06/13/17
Nice job with this, I enjoyed it very much!
Blessings~
06/13/17
Very nice job. I especially like your ending when you mention how neighbors interact with each other in Africa and then include our Christ-likeness. You didn't just think about doing something to be a good neighbor, you actually did it! Good for you!

Keep writing! God bless!
06/13/17
Great use of the topic. I've been fortunate to live in a multicultural neighborhood where everyone looks out for each other. Many have not been so fortunate.