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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Home (01/09/06)

TITLE: Barely Louder Than A Whisper
By Andria Cook


“McKenna, it’s time.” The doctor’s voice was somber. “We’ll be taking Jonathan and Michael into surgery now. The damage from the wreck is extensive in both your husband and your son, please be patient. We are going to do everything we can. Pray.”

She knew he meant the words not only as a doctor, but as a dear friend for many years. Inside her mind, fear and doubt wrestled with faith and steadfast prayer. She picked up the phone and dialed the pastor’s house with shaking fingers.

Fifteen minutes later, Pastor George and Tammy were at the hospital by her side. They held her close and prayed affirmative prayers of power and belief. For hours they sat with her. Endless, tormenting hours of pain and silence. Only the sound of her quiet sobs and Tammy’s unspoken reassurance filled the small waiting room of the small hospital.

Where is my faith? Whom shall I believe? The thoughts whirled around in her head relentlessly. Why did I have to move to this stupid place? Jonathan, you can’t die, we’ve built a life together. We have a baby on the way. Michael, please hang on, mommy is here. A desire to be with her son grew inside of her. She felt him slipping away. Her hand went to her bulging pregnant belly, and she rocked back and forth.

The news was not good. The doctor returned with a cloud of defeat swarming around him. “McKenna,” he choked.

“No!” Her sobs filled the small country hospital. “No! Brad, he was your best friend, you had to save him!”

She barely heard him tell her that both of them were gone before her knees gave way and she collapsed on the floor.

A few hours after the doctor explained that the damage was too severe for them to save her small family, McKenna was standing on the porch of the house they had bought when they found out she was pregnant. Pain stabbed deep within her belly to the only family she had left in this world. An innate sense to protect this unborn child rose deep within her until she could barely breathe any more.

“McKenna,” Pastor George’s soft voice jolted her. “You’re home now.”

Her body felt weak. Her heart felt numb. She had no tears left to cry. She spoke barely louder than a whisper. “Family makes a home, Pastor, this is just a house.”

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This article has been read 566 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Martha Robinson01/16/06
Poignant story!
Jan Ackerson 01/16/06
Oh, how sad! I have to believe that in Chapter Two, she turns back to God. Well-written.
Cathy Mitchell01/16/06
absolutely gripping. Wonderful writing...sad story...I hope it has a happy ending later down the road. With God all things are possible.
Dara Sorensen01/17/06
So incredibly tragic! I could feel McKenna's pain clearly. This could develop into a longer story, maybe even into a novel.
terri tiffany01/17/06
Well written and so sad! Emotions were delivered true to life. I wanted a happier ending but hopefully it will be continued later. Great title too. I can see you put much thought and work into this writing.
Virginia Gorg01/20/06
Interesting, but I'm unsure if she is pregnant now or not. Your sentence is confusing and could be read that they bought the house when she was pregnant, or she is pregnant now. The next chapter (if there is one) could go several ways. Nicely written.