The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/18/17
You have a gift to paint the emotional setting. Definitely fits the subject.

Personally I would have liked to see a little compassion and gratefulness from the one who knew such desperation but God had brought them to victory.

However, it is too often true that God looks in vain for our gratitude and few oblige like - the lepers.
An insightful comment on the way that today's church can grow 'dull'. I felt that Esther changing from being so faithful to so cold needed some explanation. As it stands, her story seems a little disjointed. The way you portrayed the change in the church from earthy to worldly was excellent.
05/21/17
This was a well written piece, interesting and on topic.
Blessings~
05/21/17
A really good take on the subject with some great descriptive passages. Perhaps there could have been a middle bit to piece together the beginning and the end though I suspect you were watching the word count. Well done, and looking forward to more of your writing.
05/21/17
A well written story. You did a super job of painting pictures.

I agree that it was a quick ending, but that is the trouble with this sort of limited word count.

You will not be in this level long. You will be producing some outstanding stories. I can't wait to read them. God bless.
05/23/17
You worked well the topic. I liked the way you translated to words the character's accents. Your emotional, physical and psychological descriptions excelled.
Break up some paragraphs. I have problem with them too. Blessings.
05/25/17
Congratulations on your 1st place win in the Beginners category and moving up to the Intermediate category, James.

You set the stage of your story well. I was surprised at Esther's shift in character or maybe my picture of her was wrong.
Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 14 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
I loved your descriptions, it made me feel like I was there watching it all happen. I felt the intensity of Esther's initial struggle. It left me wanting to know what happened to her that she turned so cold. Thank you for sharing this piece. Congratulations!