The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/18/17
A great message for finding the wonderful blessings scattered in the turmoil of our busy lives with children. Busy wonderful years that fly to fast.

I might suggest you break up your paragraphs a little more.
You could also write "three-year-old and save on your word count.

You gave me a great laugh and plenty to think about.
Breaking up the large para's into smaller, more topic specific chunks would have improved the reading flow.
The way you led the reader on, building the tension until we see the plain jigsaw puzzle was brilliant. It kept the reader involved and wondering what was going to happen next.
The last line was terrific because it showed rather than told how the MC's attitude had changed. Great read.
05/20/17
Sometimes we really do wish this. But do we really want it? Maybe for a second or two. Good job. I agree that you need to shorten your paragraphs a bit to make it an easier read.
05/21/17
Great job with the topic!
Well done...I loved it.
BLessings~
05/23/17
You did a great job with the topic. I also liked how you developed the plot from the Inciting Incident, through the rising actions, till the climax. You also finished with a fitting resolution. Good job.