The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You paint a bleak picture well, I could see the tent and the soldier's weariness.
There was a spelling mistake, and perhaps some paragraph breaks would make it smoother to read.
I appreciated how repeating God's Word over and over brought courage and triumph to a deadly situation. Well done!
So true that we lack nothing when we have God, when we pray.

One thing to be careful us is tense. It's written in past tense but this sentence is present. "Praying ain't going to do nothing for you," Jeremiah grumbles.

Good job on the subject.
You had some real good descriptive sentences. That is a real plus in a story.

I would like to give some pointers that would have helped with the flow and interest.

As others had mentioned there needed to be breaks in the paragraphs. One was would be to break at each dialogue change.

It also needed a good hook to set the tone and grab the reader. Why should I read on and what is your goal. Maybe something after the first sentence about their heads hanging low in the tent, "Would victory ever glisten in these wearisome eyes?" Or something that will make the reader wonder what will follow.

A good twist on the topic. Hope this helps. God bless.