The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/26/16
Good message but there were several instances of awkward sentence construction. A few examples: can't stand their sight, maybe should have been can't stand the sight of them. raised funds sacrificing - no more of church
03/01/16
This story had great potential. I liked the poem in the beginning and the end, but your piece had some crafting problems. (This is something I struggle with myself).

Keep writing!
03/02/16
I remember a grade-school teacher telling us not to use "said" all the time. That's bad advice, especially if it drives you to clunky substitutes like "stated." I do like the way you reveal why Sharon was angry only in the middle of the article.