The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/18/05
Your first six paragraphs describe the outback oasis with great clarity. I was very interested. A few places where I would tighten up the writing, but generally very good.
The last four paragraphs, to create a greater impact and make your message stronger, could perhaps be written in two paragraphs. The second to last paragraph seemed to not quite fit. Excellent last sentence! I would put "Trees are life-givers" at the beginning of that sentence rather than the end to draw the focus to the true Life-Giver.
Excellent meditation, and thank you for piquing my curiosity about the 'Red Centre' and this oasis!