The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/28/16
Oh I enjoyed this!
A sentimental yet joyful entry. well done.

God bless~
01/28/16
I loved this. Remember to put spaces between paragraphs to make it easier to read.

Good job!
01/30/16
Great one, blessings
Thank you, I enjoyed this beautiful story. Don't forget to put spaces between the paragraphs. That way it will be easier to read. Good luck and God bless xo
02/01/16
Great step back into a kid's POV. Well done - and welcome to the FW Family, from one Aussie to another.
You won't be a "Beginner" for long, with excellent and inspiring entries like this! I truly enjoyed this, and look forward to more of your stories - paragraphed, of course . . .
02/03/16
Very entertaining story. I felt the buy's angst. Nice job.

Suggestion: when you preview your entry before submitting, make sure there are hard returns. You want a blank line between paragraphs for your writing to be easier on the eyes by the readers.

Keen writing. You have talent.
02/03/16
You've a delightful way of rendering your characters POV :-) this was an easy read that had me smiling throughout! Well done and welcome to the family
02/03/16
Great storytelling ability. The MC had so much spirit, and I could just see him adjusting his cape.

I agree about the spacing, but I am sure that won't be a problem next time.
02/03/16
Great story, and how true to a child's perception. I remember when I had to overcome the challenges of water, the fears and sense of accomplishment. Great story, I agree with the statements about the spacing, but that is so minor. Great writing!
Congratulations on ranking 9th in your level. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.