The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/23/15
You have a lot of good descriptive phrases in your story; however, you need to get to the conflict much sooner.

I would begin your story with the 6th paragraph. Then, I would talk more about your visit in Bangkok, rather than your experience in the airport.
The word traveling is spelled with one 'l' not two. I would also get rid of the last sentence because you don't want people knowing that you're writing for a contest.

08/27/15
Congratulations on your 3rd place award in the Beginner's category.

Your story would have fit with this week's topic about check in/check out at the airport.

Travelling can be spelled with two 'l's if you are writing outside the United States.
08/28/15
Congratulations on your third place finish in the beginner. It is awesome God works in our lives. I would rework the sentence, "Surprise so strange was in store." I wanted to clarify that the topic this week was check-in and out of a hotel on vacation. There were some excellent points in your stories.