The Official Writing Challenge
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12/06/05
Good perspective on "While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks"! You remained true to the Hebrew culture throughout with your mention of the tallit, the shofar, YHWH, the traditions that kept the shepherds so watchful, and yet separate from the rest of that society, as explained in P. 6. Perfect time of the year to tell this story.
Because this was so well-done, I will point out a few tiny editing things: P. 1-"The only reason why he was out there.." should read "The only reason he was out there..." In P. 2, did the gentle smile belong to Eder's mother, or Mary? Confused me a little. P. 6 had a couple of punctuation errorS: "the rabbis" (not the rabbi's, which is the possessive form of rabbi), "unblemished yearling males" should not have hyphens between words. Paragraphs 12 and 15 need a little rewording to be clearer in meaning. "A massive being hovered above him, it was seemingly suspended on the air with wings that reminded Eder of eagles" (I would remove 'it was' and write the last part as '...that reminded Eder of those of eagles.' "It was finally decided that if YWHW saw it fit to announce Messiah’s arrival to the shepherds, then, who they not to welcome Him were." could be (maybe) "They finally decided that if YHWH saw fit to announce Messiah's arrival to the shepherds, then who were they not to welcome Him."
Like I said, this was so well-written, I could find little to suggest. I read your article out loud to my preteen and teen because both are involved in our church Christmas program.Good job!
12/06/05
As Sandra noted, very well written and a joy to read. The suggestion that Jesus was born during Lambing season is interesting. Watch spelling: "Adonai". Using elements of Hebrew culture added a lot to this story.
12/07/05
I liked this story a lot! I was distracted a bit by the asterisks; I think just mentioning the Scriptures that inspired this story in your author's notes would be sufficient, since you didn't quote the actual passages in the story.

Loved the character you created, and the unique take on spring. Good job!
12/09/05
Wonderfully written! You brought us back in time : )
12/09/05
Christ was born in the winter. This story was about a lamb born in March...and I can't seem to fit the two together. (Will try to find time to Re-Read later-and perhaps I will get the gist of it)) As I have stated before, I have a simplistic mind, and it takes some time to sink in (smile); A Nicely written story, however. Thanks for sharing.
12/10/05
I loved this one because of the knowledge of the Hebrew way of life. Yes, the few typos and the asterisks cluttered it a little, but nonetheless, it was a beautiful read.
I too, enjoyed how you brought a bit of Jewish culture into the story! And I agree with you, that it seems Christ was born in the spring. ;-) My helpful comment, hehe, is that the second-to-last paragraph seems to rush with little emotion. Good job!
12/10/05
I really enjoyed this. I agree that the astrics (astricies?) were distracting, but overall, I enjoyed it. One question though. You mention in your first footnote that they mate during August, and then that the gestation period is 145 days, or 3 months. The 3 months confused me, but I think I get it now. :)
Wow! This gave me goosebumps! I enjoyed this beautiful blend of Judeo-Christian history. One thing, (couldn't remember if someone had mentioned it), you had YHWH spelled "YWHW" in some places. Thanks for sharing!
12/11/05
This piece flows really well. In it you have created a convincing character and sense of culture and place. I enjoyed reading it. Yeggy
12/11/05
Really an interesting setting and perspective. The errors/omissions were distracting, but otherwise a neat entry!