The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/05
I laughed out loud at the "round head" insult. You did a great job at showing us this charming family.

One small thing: You don't need a comma after "Spring" in your title. You got it right in the title frame, but not in the body of your story.

Carming and witty!
12/10/05
Review: A typo ("surprised a girls with lace purses",) which you probably have spotted by now.

Comment: If you wanted to sell this Easter Story to a Christian magazine, you could at least mention what Easter is all about - that it isn't just new hats, fancy bonnets and candy.(this version ignores the Cross altogether)

Critique: Very interesting, entertaining and "true to life" story; (with exception of the two boys two months apart in age- unless adopted of course)and a great read! I liked it, chuckled and read it to the end! Good Job! Kudos!