Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Spring (as in the season) (11/28/05)
TITLE: Heart Thaw
By James Clem
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I'm going to be late again! Lord, you know I'm trying to get there as fast as I can, but this line of cars just isn't moving today. Every stupid traffic light between work and the day care center has been red.
I promised her I’d be early today, but I’m not going to make it. Monday she gave me that sad little look. Just as she did the other day when she said, “Mom, I’m always the last kid to get picked up every night.”
Lord, what am I supposed to do? I don’t want my life to be like this and it wasn’t supposed to be this way. I just can’t do this by myself.
Every day I take Jessie to school, work all day, and then rush back to pick her up. Once we get home, I try to throw something together for dinner and the next thing you know; it’s already time for bed. Every day is like that!
I guess I better call Diane to pick her up. The Wee Care center charges a dollar a minute after 6:00. I’ll never make it on time. Wee Care - yeah right, We Care Little is what that really means. Oh, I’m just frustrated. I promised I would be there, but I just can’t make the cars in front of me go any faster.
I could call Michael. He would get her for me. He’s been a good friend these past two years since Steve left. I think he hopes our friendship will grow into something more. But I’m just not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready again. My life just feels like it’s covered by an icy winter snow. I don’t know if spring will ever come.
Michael is a good man. I do like him. But Lord, I don’t want to open my heart again. It’s just too painful. Why couldn’t Steve and I work things out? We were so much in love – and I still love him. How could he leave me? How could he leave Jessie?
Lord, I cannot have feelings for Michael. It might happen all over again. I can’t go through that again. And I won’t let Jessie go through it again either. She misses her daddy, but to lose another would just be too much.
Michael gave me flowers for Valentine’s Day; not roses of course, because we’re just friends. He would make a good dad for Jessie and she needs a father in her life.
Just a few weeks ago, the three of us went on a picnic together. Jessie adores him. Lord, help me to know what to do. You are the great Physician. Can you really mend the brokenness in my heart? Can you really cause new feelings to spring up out of the barren coldness that grips it? I’m so afraid.
Another red light! Okay, let me dial the number.
“Michael, hi. Yeah it’s Anne. I’m stuck in traffic. I’d really appreciate it if you could pick Jessie up for me at the day care. You’re such a lifesaver. I’ll pick up something to eat on the way home.
“Hey I was thinking too that maybe you could stay for dinner and then afterward we could talk a bit. I’d like that.
“Great! I’ll see you soon. Bye Michael and thanks again.”
Lord, I feel the ice breaking a bit. Maybe there will be a new spring in my life, with fresh experiences waiting to be discovered and new feelings ready to bloom.
Lord I trust in you that you do know the plans you have for me. I trust you with my life, my talents, and my little girl. And I will trust you with my own heart.
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