The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/06/05
Good job showing the transformation in your soul from one winter to the next. Sinking into the depths of depression is sometimes the very place we need to be so that God can show us the length of His reach and the strength of His grasp. Be careful about using the word 'it'. Ask yourself what 'it' stands for and see if substituting that word would sound right or if rearranging the sentence to remove 'it' would help. For example, "It was sometime in January and I distinctly remember the feeling of coldness seeping deep into my bones" could be written "I distinctly remember that day in January when I realized the feeling of coldness that was seeping deep into my bones." I was taught somewhere that 'it' should almost always refer to something named in the beginning of the sentence or in a previous sentence. In your last paragraph, the word 'it' is understood to mean the spring in your soul; 'it' can be used both times there because 'spring' is the antecedent.
Some of your sentences really stood out for me: "Despite Godís promises that there is a time and a season for everything, I didnít feel that spring was going to be coming at all.", "Somehow, He brought me back to the land of the living. Winter was over.", "God had planted spring in me and the buds just needed a little watering before they grew out of the fertile soil that was my soul", " No matter the temperature, to me it will always be spring." Amen, and amen! A good reflection on the difference God makes when He delivers us.

12/06/05
Transformation is sharp. Wonderful Contrast. I think you can make this even better once you escape the word count limitation.
12/06/05
Beautiful testimony!
12/07/05
Very well done. If you take a second look at this piece, consider writing it as a short story, "you" make a compelling character. This was a blessing to read.
12/10/05
Lovely testimony piece. Nicely written.