The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/05/05
Liked it. Flowed well. Gentle presentation. Applicable to lots of other situations as well.
A very gentle and sweet piece.
12/06/05
I like the message. Add some white space to improve readability.
12/07/05
I always feel slightly disoriented when a piece begins with a pronoun without an antecedent. Who is she?

I like the way you portrayed her spiritual revelation, though. Very relatable.
12/08/05
A good story line, though a little hard to follow. Seperations in the dialog as well as spacing between the paragraphs would make it more readable. A little edit and it would be great.
12/09/05
Since Writers write for Readers, it would be best if you could make it easier for them to read by putting spaces between paragraphs; thus, making more of an impact with each new paragraph. Otherwise, nice Spring story.